The subject of suicide often results in a great deal of sympathy, or at the very least a degree of understanding, towards the person who commits such a tragic act of desperation, and also in addition, for those who suffer that tragic loss and the consequences following such a sad time when a loved one, or friend, is taken away from them. However the one who is gone will also get the blame when those left behind begin to suffer from a range of emotions that often includes anger.
It is more than understandable that family and friends will feel anger, and other emotions, when someone takes their life and often while going through that period of anger they will say such things as how selfish they are to have left them behind or they will say it is the actions of a coward and that taking one's own life only puts their problems onto the shoulders of those left behind.
This anger, and such comments, although somewhat understandable, is however really all about just putting that blame, that anger, upon the one that has gone as a way of dealing with that emotion without really understanding how it came to that tragic end in the first place.
There is nothing selfish or cowardly when that time comes and that needs to be understood by those who say such things. Using such negative comments is not only hurtful to others, who also find themselves left behind, but also a very misguided thing to say about such a tragic end to a life. What if it was your wife, for example, who took her life and people came up to you saying such things? How would you feel if they said that your wife was selfish and a coward?
The true reality is that for someone to reach such a devastating state of mind in the first place, and is clearly not thinking straight take note, the thought of being selfish is totally irrelevant to them. Or to put it another way would you think of yourself as being selfish for not cooking the evening meal for your family while lying on the floor in total agony suffering from a heart attack? That type of situation of course is of a physical nature but the emotional state of that person, being in such total despair at that moment in time, is just as real as any physical trauma.
It has also been known sadly that someone in such a devastating state of mind may think that they are doing the right thing by not being a burden upon anyone anymore if they take their life. In their state of mind they would not be thinking of themselves as being selfish but trying to do the right thing for others. Sadly it would take a bit more than simple supportive reassurance to stop someone thinking that way at such a time. Remember they are often not in a positive or logical state of mind when thinking like that.
Remember that when a person is in a state of trauma or heavy depression, and as such somewhat unbalanced, logic is no longer working in the true sense of the word, and selfish or not, suffering mental pain is just the same when it comes to someone wanting to die because they cannot tolerate physical pain anymore in just the same way.
Depression in all its various forms is well documented and the cause of depression can be the result of many various things that can range from a chemical imbalance of the brain, social circumstances, a physical medical condition, drink or drug abuse or even facing a terminal illness. And of course bereavement.
We all suffer from a form of depression at times, even though it could only be a very mild version of it. If fact we don’t always know we have it, or even recognise it, even when in plain sight. Sometimes of course it is no more than a feeling of being low on occasions and that will do no harm, but always be ready to recognise a simple bad day from something more serious.
Is taking your own life the act of a coward? All human beings, including all animals, have a strong inbuilt defence mechanism to survive. Without it we may do harmful things to ourselves far beyond just getting drunk or taking drugs.
That very strong instinct to survive within all of us is the very thing that stops us plunging a knife into ourselves. Or worse. But when that dark demon we call depression takes over, or the pain can no longer be endured, then that is when a true battle within the mind begins. This battle, for want of a better term, is between our instinct to survive and the need to find a way out to end the emotional pain that is being endured everyday.
The classic view, as portrayed within television drama shows and films, is often of someone standing on a bridge trying to decide if they should jump or not and end it all. In many cases this is just a desperate cry for help, and the need for someone to help them, however if their need to escape from their very traumatic situation is strong that day then their natural instinct to survive will fail them.
For those who are left behind, feeling anger, is often about wishing they had done more to help, among many other things, but although feeling that way is more than understandable, remember that no one is superhuman. Even medical experts cannot save them all sadly.
Many suffer mental health issues and hide it well. Stigma and shame that they have such a condition is just part of the reason. Some hide what they have so as not to be a burden upon others. In any event never feel guilty for not doing enough or anger at the loss of someone you cared about. Or at least try not to. And remember a victim of suicide is not a selfish person or a coward. Just a simple human being dealt a bad hand in life.
For a related article on this website about depression and tablets click >HERE<
Disclaimer: This article is aimed at providing general information only. In all cases of this nature consult a professional medical expert at all times.